Killjoy Numbskull used to enjoy spending his days and nights picking on his best friend, Nudnick. They loved to fight and harass all the other residents of the farmyard. They were bigger, stronger, faster, with a larger wingspan, more beautiful feathers, and the most accurate pecking ability of all the birds. Killjoy and Nudnick had a horn growing out of the crown of their heads like a unicorn, called a "helmet."They enjoyed wearing whiteface and blue eye shadow, and kept their neck and crown feathers in a helter-skelter Goth array. They looked like pompous fools and enjoyed bullying each other and everyone else around.
One night, there was a raccoon slinking around on the elevated porch. It came very close to where Killjoy and Nudnick sat on the highest perch in their huge cage. The raccoon reached through the wire to try to grab one of them. Nudnick was terrified and dropped to the ground to hide behind the door. Although the door was solid on one side, the other raccoon was easily able to reach through the wire beside the wooden door and yank poor Numbskull's head out through the wire up to the shoulders. Killjoy was traumatized by the experience.
After a few weeks, Killjoy started getting lonely. There was no one to contend with, no one to pick on, and he didn't get much fun out of harassment anymore. He wanted to hang with the flock rather than make them all run away in every direction. He was longing to be one of the crowd.
Meanwhile, the 6 hens have never seen a rooster. Unlike the ducks, when they are in the mood for love, they run over to the most powerful being in the farmyard and present themselves. Lately, Killjoy has been the most powerful in the farmyard. And now that he is less about attacking for fun and more about longing for companionship, he has been taking up the invitation of the hens. Now that he needs companionship, he is serving in the role of alpha male for the hens.
The youngest, and certainly the fattest of the hens, is the Black Giant. She was raised to be best friends with our last year's hatchling drake, Nicodemus. He was seriously abused by his dad and big brother, and took it out on his girlfriend, the Black Giant. She grew up being abused. Not only was she the bottom of the pecking order for being the youngest, but also she was abused by a drake. Now she is a bedraggled mess. Nicodemus is long gone. She has been infected with western poultry mites, and parts of her skin are plucked clean and ready for the soup pot. In spite of diatomaceous earth, Neem oil, vinegar, ammonia, and tobacco tea, the problem remains. Some other hens are mildly affected.
Black giant has been sporting a tailor-made back apron to protect her bloody back from pecking attacks of the others. She may also be rubbing herself bloody on her night time perch. She is too fat to fly up to the high perch, so she has made a bedroom in one of the nest boxes where she perches at night. Now that Killjoy Numbskull has toned down his sadism, he sees Black Giant as his perfect next companion, and has been courting her. Although she doesn't mind so much being pecked, she is still batshit terrified of Killjoy. He is too stupid to realize the effect he has on others in his foppish costume and whorehouse makeup.
Now Killjoy Numbskull has decided to give up his spacious digs and move in with the hens in the hen house. They all hate him. Roosters tend to be nasty pieces of work, so how much worse could a French Guinea be? Maybe Killjoy will save the day and do his job to combat the Western Poultry Mites? He certainly makes cheerful and happy sounds when he is with the hens in the hen house.
